Anal sex has never been more popular than in recent years, yet misconceptions, stigmas, and unpleasant experiences persist. This guide aims to educate you on making anal play enjoyable, with detailed tips on hygiene and preparation to ensure a positive experience.
Getting Started with Anal Play
Before engaging in anal sex with a partner, try it alone first. This allows you to understand the sensations, gauge what you like and dislike, and helps you become a better giver and receiver when/if you introduce another person.
Essential Hygiene Tips for Anal Play
1. Basic Cleaning:
- Easy Clean: Go to the bathroom 30-60 minutes before anal play, empty your bowels, and wash the anal area with soap and warm water. Unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes are also effective.
- Deep Clean: Use a douche 1-2 hours before anal play for a thorough clean. Only a couple of cups of warm water are needed to rinse the last 6-8 inches (15-20 cm) of the rectum. Avoid using too much water to prevent stimulating your digestive system.
2. Cover the Bed:
- Place a towel on the bed to catch any mess, such as lube or body fluids. If things get messy, use the towel to clean up and then wash it. You could also use a PVC bed sheet for quick cleanup.
3. Gloves and Finger Cots:
- Gloves: Use latex or nitrile gloves for hygiene and to prevent infections. They also enhance the experience by making anal massage easier. Gloves should not have wrinkles as this can irritate the anus, so ensure you find the right size. Latex gloves fit best and are often less expensive, but some people are sensitive to latex, and they are not compatible with oil based lubricants. Nitrile gloves work well, and you can use oil-based lubricants with them. Although they may not seem sexy, many people find that watching their partner put on a glove becomes an act of foreplay. When choosing the colour, you can't go wrong with black!- Finger Cots: These small coverings are great for quick, clean fingering and reduce the risk of scratches, which can become infected in the sensitive area, as well as acting as protection for the wearers skin from the anal bacteria. These are smaller and easier to put on and remove during anal play without interrupting the mood.
4. Avoid Double-Dipping:
Never go from anal to vaginal play without cleaning up to prevent infections. Ensure that any lube, oils, or toys used during anal play do not make contact with the vagina or penis before engaging in PIV (penis in vagina) sex.
5. Stay Calm if Things Get Messy:
Accidents can happen. Clean up, take a break if needed, and maintain a positive mindset to avoid turning it into a disaster. Some find that they need to end the session and try again another time, which is also completely fine. Ensure you do what feels best for you and your partner. You might consider using a PVC bedsheet for easy clean-up, should things get messy.
How to Use a Douche/Enema
It is a good idea to prepare a couple of hours in advance of anal play. This is because using a douche can cause water to become trapped in the folds of the rectum and can take a while to come out. It is a good idea to stay near a bathroom during this time.
1. Rinse the douche/enema before each use. Wash the nozzle, and fill the bulb with warm water. Check the temperature of the water on your wrist first, too cold and you will tense up, too warm and it could cause irritation. Only use water that you would drink from, if you filter your water, ensure you use filtered water in your enema/douche.
2. Lubricate the nozzle after screwing it to the bulb and assume a comfortable position. Lying on your side or resting on your elbows and knees are recommended, but use whichever position is most comfortable for you.
3. Insert the nozzle, squeeze the bulb, and hold the water for 10-15 seconds before releasing it all at once into the toilet.
4. Repeat as needed and clean the equipment thoroughly afterwards using antibacterial toy cleaner or soap and warm water. Let it dry completely before putting it away.
Although similar and used interchangeably here, enemas and douching are two different things. Douches are generally used to clean and prep for anal play, as they don't push the water as deep as enemas. They also primarily clean by using water and pressure rather than chemicals.
Why not try the Prowler RED Large Bulb Douche?
Enemas on the other hand are designed to fully flush out the bowels by going deeper into the intestines. They can be much more intense and are usually used to relieve medical issues and constipation rather than for general cleaning. Some enemas use chemicals to induce contractions or break down faeces within your bowels, making it much easier to push out. Frequent use of enemas should however be avoided as it can rid your gut of healthy bacteria and impact your overall digestion.
Hair Removal: To Shave or Not?
There is no right answer when it comes to body hair removal, as it is all up to personal preference and whichever you are most comfortable with.
- Pros: Some enjoy the sight, scent and feel of body hair. It's a personal preference. Communicate with your partner to find out what they're into, but remember to take into consideration your own preferences. If you don't want to shave or wax, you don't have to.
- Cons: Hair can trap fecal matter, but washing before and after play resolves this. As you can probably tell by now, cleaning is the golden rule of anal play.
Diet and Anal Play
- Fiber and Protein: Balance is key when it comes to fibre and protein. Protein helps to firm up the poop and fibre helps with pushing it out. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts helps maintain regular bowel movements.
- Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water and avoid excessive caffeine and alcohol. 2L of water per day is recommended for the average person, however take into account your size and activity levels and adjust accordingly.
Safety and Health Considerations
1. Use Condoms: Even though pregnancy is not a risk, using condoms is recommended to reduce the risk of STIs (sexually transmitted infections). If you are in a monogamous relationship however and you have both tested negative for STIs, then anal sex without a condom is perfectly safe.
2. Avoid Anal Play with Fissures: Allow anal fissures to heal completely before engaging in anal sex to avoid further injury. Visit your GP if you have any concerns.
Discussing Anal Play with Your Partner
- Consent is Crucial: Never surprise your partner with anal play. Discuss your interest outside of sexual situations, and make decisions based on what is best for both of you. One way to bring up the subject is to say something like "I have been interested in anal sex recently, and have been researching online. Is this something you'd want to explore with me?"
- Give Time to Decide: Allow your partner to think about it without pressure. You may get an enthusiastic yes, but some people may need more time to think about it if it is new to them or if they have had an uncomfortable experience in the past. Be patient with your partner and allow them plenty of time to make a decision. Don't try to pressure them or surprise them by including anal play before they are ready. It may help to circle back to how they feel, but be sure to give them a few days or a week before bringing up the topic again.
- Provide Information:Reassure your partner by sharing that you've done your research and can guide a comfortable experience. Sometimes all someone needs is reassurance that their concerns will be listened to and their needs met.
If your partner decides that anal play is not for them, it is can feel disappointing, which is normal! The most important thing to do if your partner says no is to not pressure them or try to make them change their mind, as this can only make things worse. The best thing to do is to respect their decision, and thank them for being honest with you. It may be helpful to have a conversation with them about why they don't want to try it, as there could be room for compromise. For example, if they say they tried it in the past but it hurt, you could suggest only exploring external touch,such as massaging or oral, without any penetration. You could have them read this guide and discover the different types of anal play to see if there is something that would suit them better. However, if it is a firm no, the best thing to do is accept this answer and explore different ways to enjoy sex with each other
If your partner says yes, Congratulations! You are now one step closer to experiencing the fun of anal play with your partner. Now is the time to discuss with them the details before you get into the act.
Some questions you can ask them are:
"Have you done anal before?"
"Have you ever tried anal toys?"
"What is it about anal that you enjoy or are curious about?"
"Are there any boundaries or limits you want to set before we start exploring?"
These simple open-ended questions will give you some useful info about your partner’s desires and experience. For example, if anal play turns them on because it feels taboo to them, that’s different from enjoying it because of the physical sensations. Including dirty talk in this scenario can help to heighten their experience. Keeping communication open and relaxed can help ensure that you and your partner enjoy this intimate experience together.
Avoiding Common Mistakes
1. Use Plenty of Lube: Never skip lubrication. Silicone lube is recommended as a smaller amount is needed than water based, and won't dry up as readily. If you are using silicone toys, however, a good quality water based lube is best. Explore our full collection of lubes here.
2. Have Foreplay: Gradually prepare the body for penetration. Massaging around the area or performing oral can help relieve any tension and prepare the anus for penetration. You may also want to try a relaxing spray or lube if you are having trouble relaxing the anus. These should be used in moderation though, as serious injuries can go unnoticed if the area is too numb.
3. Use Protection: Condoms, gloves, and finger cots help maintain hygiene and reduce the risk of tears and scratches.
4. Communicate: Keep an open dialogue with your partner.
5. Clean Up Before Vaginal Play: Prevent infections by thoroughly cleaning between different types of play. Use soap and water on sensitive areas, and clean any toys with an antibacterial toy cleaner.
6. Clean Your Toys: Always sanitize toys before and after use using soap and warm water or toy cleaner.
7. Pee After Anal Sex: This helps prevent urinary tract infections.
8. Practice Aftercare: Show appreciation and check in on your partner's comfort and well-being.
Final Thoughts
Anal sex can be an incredibly pleasurable experience when approached with proper preparation and communication. By following these guidelines, you can ensure a safe, clean, and enjoyable time for both you and your partner.
Ready to get stuck in? Explore the wide range of anal toys on our site here or read our page "Anal Toys: A Beginner's Guide"
