SCANDALS BONDAGE: Restraints

You may have spotted on our social media that we recently launched our own line of bondage inspired pieces. To celebrate this exciting news, Ellie will be doing a four part blog series on BDSM over the next few weeks. Make sure you're following us on social media and/or subscribed to our newsletter to get notified of when new posts are published.

~

Ready to get all tied up in my next BDSM post? This week we're talking restraints. Ties, cuffs, collars, and gags - oh my! Most people have probably experimented with a pair of handcuffs, or even just a tie or scarf. The act of giving up control by allowing yourself to be bound up is an appealing one to many people, even those who don't consider their sex-life to be particularly BDSM.

There are numerous different options to consider when experimenting with restraints, and safe practices to keep in mind for all of these. I'm going to talk you through these to see if we can find one that works well for you.

For beginners, I recommend some initial experimentation with satin ties or bondage tape (which only sticks to itself, not to you or anything you're being tied to). Many people are tempted to go for the stereotypical metal handcuffs when first trying restraints but I would caution against them. These are great for specific kinds of role-play scenario but are not very comfortable or adjustable. While people seem intimidated when shown leather cuffs, because of their rather extreme aesthetic, these are actually far more comfortable to use. I'd particularly recommend our padded cuffs for a nice cushion against your skin, allowing you to be restrained for longer periods of time.

FETISH FOUR CUFF SPREADER BAR

Fetish Four Cuff Spreader Bar - £49.99

Now that you've got the hands bound up, it's time for ankles! A fully adjustable spreader bar makes sure your sub is going to stay put and makes for some fun positions for sexual stimulation. The benefit of cuffs and spreader bars like these is that they usually come with trigger hooks and chains, which can then be attached to other restraints, or even hooks/bars that you may have around the house.

An example of another restraint that could be incorporated is a chest harness, where cuffed hands could be attached to the large O-Ring to keep them close to the body. In a similar fashion, an O-Ring collar can be attached to a leash, or even something like nipple clamps.

Another very adaptable form of restraint is shibari or kinbaku rope. This has been used for centuries in Japanese culture as a way to artfully and erotically bind the body using a series of knots and ties. If you're interested in trying this out, I highly recommend Twisted Monk's video tutorials, as well as looking up some articles on safety practises like making sure you always have a pair of sheers handy to cut your partner loose should things go wrong.

 

Japanese Love Rope - £19.99

Finally, as the cherry on top, you may want to incorporate a ball gag. For beginners, breathable ball gags come with air holes to make the experience a bit more comfortable. However, the hard plastic of these can be unpleasant on the jaw, in which case rubber is a much better alternative. For the more hard-core among us (and everyone who just loves the taste of metal: hands up!) a steel ball gag is an exciting option.

Here is where safety precautions come in though. Obviously with play involving gags, safe-words are more difficult to communicate. In this instance, you may want to come up with a safe action instead. Whatever you decide, it's important for the binder to keep checking in with their partner. Asking if anything is too tight, if they need to take a break etc. To avoid overly tight restraints, a good rule is to make sure you can fit two fingers between the restraint and their skin. Keep an eye on extremities for any signs of circulation loss e.g. blue finger tips or if your partner reports pins and needles. In this case, it's best to stop play immediately.

While restraints are potentially dangerous, that's half the fun of using them! As long as you keep an open line of communication and know each other's limits there's no reason not to have lots of fun tying each other up. It's an experience I would recommend to anyone hoping to spice up their sex life. Even if you're not interested in the power-play or pain-play aspects of BDSM, restraints are a great way to show your partner you really trust them with your pleasure. More than that, preparing for using restraints is an amazing way to communicate your wants and needs to your partner. What are you waiting for?

I'll see you next week for our final post: Sensory Play.


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.


You may also like

View all
Example blog post
Example blog post
Example blog post