Originally posted 22/02/2018

With so much news coverage around the new wave of sex-tech in the form of A.I. and “sex robots”, I’ve started to notice a worrying dialogue around male sexuality being presented. While television shows like Sex & The City, Broad City, and media coverage have been instrumental in changing perceptions around female sexuality and masturbation, traditional ideas still very much exist for men.

Women who use vibrators are so often viewed as “empowered”, or as “owning their own pleasure” and while this is amazing and a huge leap forward, perceptions around male sexuality still need to catch up. For men, masturbation is so often played out as some sort of biological impulse, along the same lines as eating or sleeping. While men are lucky to have such importance placed on their sexuality, I worry that this detracts from their ability to really explore pleasure. To view masturbation as a way of getting to know your own body and your fantasies, not just playing out societies expectations for you as a hyper-sexed manly man.

Men who aren’t getting all of their orgasms from women (whether they are gay, a-sexual, or even just single!) are so often looked down on or pitied by others. This sets a dangerous precedent for these men who are then often seen as lonely, perverts, or somehow not “real men”. On the other side, it leads to women being treated as sex-objects, just another tool for masturbation.

But there are already so many great tools for male masturbation! And there is absolutely no reason why any curious guy shouldn’t be able to experiment with these to max out his own pleasure. Here, I’m going to go over one of the most popular toys for men: fleshlights. I’ll be tutoring you on how to make the most of your fleshlight to really unlock your pleasure potential. This article is for single men, and coupled off men of all orientations. Because masturbation shouldn’t stop just because you’re in a relationship! Taking care of your body and what it wants leads to a happier, healthier mindset. Which in turn leads to happier, healthier relationships.

First off, unless you’ve already treated yourself, you’re going to want to choose a fleshlight. Some people choose to go with smaller designs to test if they enjoy the sensations, in this case the Cyberskin Vulcan Strokers are an excellent option. If you're looking to invest more in a multi-use toy, The Penthouse Double Stroker's come with both vagina and anus entryways. It's worth bearing in mind that fleshlights with a screw base allow you to change the vacuum intensity of the interior, as described in this review of our O'Doyle's Back Door Stout Fleshlight (bonus: this is one you can leave out without your flatmates questioning you on what it is!). If you really want to take it to the next level, might I suggest a Vibrating Stroker? 

Once you've made your choice, it's time to think about what's going to make this experience extra-amazing. For starters, you're going to want a lot of lube. The more lube the better. Waterbased is best as any oil or silicone lubricant with damage your fleshlight. This powdered lubricant gives you 5 litres of water-based lube for every two teaspoons of powdered gel you mix with water. Maybe a warming lubricant to simulate body interiors? However if you do want a realistic, body temperature feel then I would highly recommend a sleeve warmer or even this warming, vibrating, masturbator.

Now that your fleshlight is ready, it's time to think about positioning. Of course, you could go for the traditional, lying down with the fleshlight in both hands. But there's no reason not to get creative with this! Try wedging it between some pillows, on your sofa or your bed, to create a hands-free masturbation session that allows you full control. You could even use shibari rope to create a harness and tie your fleshlight to a piece of furniture. If you chose to go with one of the smaller fleshlight models, these can be a great way to play with someone else. They could use it on you to create a threesome fantasy without the risk of jealousy bubbling up!

If you don't want to get someone else involved, then why not get even more toys?! A prostate stimulator or butt plug could reach your prostate while you thrust, leading to super intense orgasms.

Phew, that was fun, wasn't it? 

And now it's time for the clean up. You're going to want to treat your fleshlight well to get the most use of it. An anti-bacterial cleaner keeps everything squeaky clean. After using this with a damp cloth you can simply leave your toy to air dry. One thing we always recommend with fleshlight purchases is Cyber-Skin renew powder. Fleshlights will lose that super silky, realistic flesh feel after being washed. They can becoming sticky and more prone to picking up dust and fluff. A renewal powder returns them to that soft, skin like feel and leaves them ready for whenever you next feel like playing.