Goodbye Scandals: My Favourite Ridiculous Products

After over a year of working for the wonderful people behind Scandals, my time has unfortunately come to an end as I'm moving to Glasgow and don't fancy a 4 hour commute to work every morning.

Fortunately for me, my last couple of shifts have been spent in our amazing Birkenhead shop, surrounded by the team as we add all of the Birkenhead stock to our online store. It's been great being able to work alongside everyone for the last week, and even better, we've found loads of pretty ridiculous products which have been ideal inspiration for my final blog post. Some of these are purposefully novelty items, and some are genuinely good products which have been marketed in hilarious ways.

First up, we have this anatomical pillow which went viral on LADbible at the start of this year. Is it just me, or is this the perfect shape for neck strain?! Everyone in the room also agreed that this would be great for long train journeys. I just think they missed a trick by not making these pillows heat-able in the microwave.


Plush Pillow "Breasts"

Next up is the Wilaboo, or as I like to call it, "the ultimate posh wank". This is a one use, inflatable masturbation sleeve which includes handy (ha...) instructions for use. Go on, do the Wilaboo!

Wilaboo Ultimate Inflatable Sex Toy For Men

The next item gets a special mention because I actually ended up using it just this morning. Catherine called me up and asked if I could measure the tree outside our Bootle store. When I couldn't find the meter stick my mind instantly went to this novelty gift which had recently been unearthed. Hopefully the measure markings are actually correct!

Porno Measuring Stick

Erm... what do you mean you don't have specific massage oil just for Christmas? This is actually a really delicious smelling oil that just happens to be marketed specifically for the festive season. At £3.85 I'd say this is a bargain for any time of the year, just make sure you have sweet treats nearby because the smell of this will make you hungry.

Christmas Massage Oil

Okay, so, no kink shaming here. If you want to consensually include play like this kit in your sex life: good on you! The funny part of this kit is that it seems to be marketed towards BDSM beginners. Which... I probably wouldn't recommend strapping on a toilet brush if you're just getting into this stuff. Also, unfortunately I can't find my favourite image from the box, which is of the woman eating pretzels out of the red bowl strapped to the man's face, while sipping on a glass of wine. If that's not the best use I've ever seen for a gag, I don't know what is.

Fetish Fantasy Extreme Compliance Kit

Finally, this isn't a new toy to our Scandals stores, but it's got to be one of the most famous ones- which is why I had to include it. I would say at least 50% of the people who come into our store will bring up this 17" bad boy during their visit. They'll laugh and say, "You probably don't sell many of those." But here's the thing... I reckon this is one of our best selling dildos. And I love that fact, because it just goes to show that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about when you're coming into our stores, because we're all pretty freaky when it comes down to it 😉

Dick Rambone 17"

I think this is the perfect last post from me on the blog, because it really sums up what it's like working in an adult store. We take our jobs seriously, and really love being able to bring joy and sexual satisfaction to people from all walks of life. But at the same time, it's important to have a good sense of humour and appreciate the often ridiculousness of the industry we work in.

Because sex is often ridiculous: it's messy, noisy, and it's important to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes. And that's what's really beautiful about it. It's a part of life where we can completely be ourselves and share the most intimate and hidden parts of us with other people.

So thank you all for sharing a bit of that with me over the past year. I leave you in the excellent hands of my fellow Scandals staff, and wish everyone happy healthy sex lives in the years to come!

Goodbye 💗

 

 

 


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